The Oscars...with a little Perspective

When I was little I used to make movies with my sisters and my neighbors. We made a good number of them. I was the director and had my sisters and friends as my "little minions" to be my movie stars. ha. I was bossy...back then. Well, to say the least, we made so many "films" that we eventually had to have an awards show, call it our "Academy Awards", to give out credit to the great movies and great little actors/actresses in the neighborhood.

So, I picked who got all the awards (I guess I was "The Academy") and we filmed our little awards ceremony one day which was a lot of fun. All the little "thank-you" speeches from kids ages 5-14...haha. Guess who won Best Director? yeah...

POINT IS...I'd always wanted to be a director or "in the movie business"...for quite awhile. More recently, I've decided my life may be headed on a different path, but not shutting any doors here..we'll just see. But when I was younger and had my BIG dreams, I used to do what most kids do, and practice my acceptance speech. Ok, so I practiced it many many times throughout my life.

I find that being in front of thousands, no, millions of people to hear what YOU have to say, is kind of exciting. Just because after you get credit for something big you've accomplished, it's quite possibly the best moment to give credit to who really deserves it most.

Who? Well, if you know me by now...you probably know exactly what I mean by "who". But then again, most of my life EVERY actor/actress/singer/etc gave credit to this "who". I'm starting to notice though that there's a shift or a change going on...nobody wants to even talk or mention the 3-letter 'who' anymore. I wonder why?

So last night Meryl Streep, kind of surprisingly, won Best Actress award at the Oscars. I love Meryl, no doubt, but I admit I kind of wanted Viola Davis to win for The Help. EITHER WAY, Meryl gets up on stage, after Viola hugs her,...and starts off her "thank you" speech thanking a 3-letter person.

No, not God. ha. Don. Her husband. And you know what? I think that's completely great. So good for a hollywood marriage being happy and long-lasting. And to continue on...she thanks her makeup artist, Roy Helland. That's important too. The "behind the scenes" people deserve much respect and appreciation for their ART just as much as the actor/actress I think. Then, THIS is the part of her speech that moved me. You can watch the link below to see the end of her speech...if not, just scroll down past the link.

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/watch-meryl-streeps-oscar-acceptance-speech-for-best-actress/


Meryl Streep lastly, starts getting more emotional, and says, "I really wanna thank all my colleagues, all my friends...I look out here and you know, I see my life before my eyes. My old friends, my new friends, and really, this is such a great honor but...the thing that counts the most with me...is the friendships and the love...and the sheer joy we have shared making movies together. My friends, thank you, all of you. Departed...(puts her arm over her heart) and here. For this inexplicably wonderful career. Thank you so much."

And you know...that's just it. That's the point. She looks out in tears, says she sees "her life before her eyes" while she looks at her friends. They show some in the audience looking back at her...with tears in their eyes. Because THAT is what's real. FRIENDS. As she says "sheer JOY"...its moving. Its all about the people. Its all about...the love. She is moved...we are moved. Before you know it, she will be one of the actresses "departed"...but the impact she makes on her friends...and vice versa...will not fade. The love...never fades. It's what God is all about. Whether she says it or not...God is in WHAT she said. Selfless. Friendship. Love.

If we all can one day look at our lives...by looking at our friends we've made in our lifetime...and see "sheer joy"...then we can say we did NOT miss out on life. We will have found life...because God...is in people. He's all around us...whether we "credit Him"...or His world around us does on its own.

Simple Thoughts about an Awesome God

Today has been... one of those days. When something inside of you just feels like you really need to let it out.
So you think about it...and try to figure out what it is that's messing around with your head. You don't know. You can't figure it out. Maybe if you just vent about something to someone it'll come out on its own. Does that make sense? Sometimes when you get to talking with one of your closest friends, you end up saying more off the top of your head and end up being honest with what's actually going on. Sometimes you find out that you needed to be honest with yourself. You just didn't know it...ha.

Well today...I woke up and went to work SUPER early. 7:00am shift. (i mean, i guess people with REAL jobs can relate...) But to me...thats not my usual day. So maybe I was tired but I dunno, today I just felt like I had something pressing on my mind too much. Frustration. Irritation. Maybe a little anger? ha. That emotion I don't like. But truthfully, I think I felt it today. I didn't even know why? Maybe I subconsciously let something build up. I'm always telling people to "Feel how you feel! Don't hold back." You can't help how you feel sometimes and its ok to just be honest with yourself. Better yet, its MORE than ok. It's healthy.

Well, so, I came home from work and just felt like I needed to let something go. And frankly, I needed to figure out who was gonna be my "venterator." (---its off Gilmore Girls)
So I was at the apartment, by myself...and was just feeling like I needed to "talk it out"..."take a load off"...you know what I mean. And now for the serious moment...I needed to let myself BE myself. Completely. Not half-hearted or 75% of me. All of me.

There's only a few options of who I can go to. But truth is...sometimes I want people to just listen and not offer solutions. So I don't call anybody....instead I just decided to flip my Bible open and start reading. (i love to read it. and i only say that because its THAT good :)
but usually when I do that, expecting something PERFECT to pop out when i open it up, its completely off my "needed" subject haha.

But not today.

Today I barely opened it...since I only made it to book 2 out of 66. Exodus. ??? I was kind of aiming for the red letters...but I just started to read. The perfect verse popped out.

I'm not gonna tell you.

Read the whole book and guess which one it was.

ha. Just kidding. It was Exodus 33:11 "Inside the Tent of Meeting, the Lord would speak to Moses face to face...as one speaks to a friend."

Granted...I told God I wish I could speak to him face to face. But...the point is...I can talk to Him like he's my friend. And I'm not embarrassed to say that. I'm confidently saying it...

He is my friend. He's been my friend longer than anyone has. He's been there with me to cry out to my WHOLE life. And I have. And thanks to Him I have peace in my life. Because He's that great to me.

So the point I'm trying to make...is that I literally stopped reading further. Made myself a latte. And just talked to God. (If that's weird to anyone...sorry...but we're that close)

And without details...let's just say...I feel much better now. He's the friend I needed to go to. He's the friend who actually CAN do something about my life. He's the friend who always does.

I love God. (simple thing to say, powerful to feel)

I really do. He is my best friend. And I'm so grateful that God gets me.

Here we are.

We live in a beautiful world....

In the midst of our joys. In the midst of our pain. In the midst of our grief. In the midst of our happiness. In the midst of our peace. In the midst of our humility. In the midst of our shame. In the midst of our suffering. In the midst of our wondering. In the midst of our laughter. In the midst of our sadness. In the midst of our anger. In the midst of our regrets. In the midst of our darkness. In the midst of our strength. In the midst of our thankfulness. In the midst of our growth.
In the midst of our Creator...

We live in a very beautiful world...in the midst of everything and everyone around us.

We all live under the same sun. The same sun that everyone who was ever created has lived under.

And it's just about seeing the beauty around us. And in us. And in each other. God's fingerprints. God's touch and power. When you see the sun, the lightning, the moon, the stars, the animals, the water, the beaches, the clouds, the rain, the trees that comes up from the earth, and the way God extends His hands to each and every one of us....is beautiful.

It is beautiful. No matter from HERE to THERE. From first breath to last. God knows the answers. God is THE answer. God is good. God is perfect...and yet its beautiful how He still loves US. And even though we aren't perfect, He takes the time to keep working on us. On our hearts. We just have to be open to seeing the beautiful ways He creates, and reshapes us in all His ways. Even IN the ways He chooses to refine us...it is beautiful.

We live in a beautifully created world...with people, and with GOD. THE Loving and Perfect God. Can we open our eyes and recognize Him? And can we recognize the beauty, HE alone, can make out of our lives?

Psalm 139:
13 You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother's body.
14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well.

Peace....better yet...COMPLETE Peace

When there's something in your life that you don't have a plan for, something you struggle with daily, something you just can't let go of, something you're searching for, something you're waiting on, something you're asking for, something you're looking to understand...something you don't even know HOW to pray for....

ever felt like that?

Who hasn't? You're not alone. So let's remind each other this...

GOD has a plan. GOD knows your struggle. GOD can help you let go. GOD will help you find it. GOD is waiting with you. GOD hears your cry. GOD will help you and lead you. God doesn't ask that your prayer to HIM even make ANY sense.

Because He knows it before you say it.

HE knows. HE cares. He's THERE. He's HERE. AND if you EVER think its too scary to trust this "god" know this...The living God loves you more than you will ever know or understand...so remember, He will take care of you and bring you peace.

HE is the Prince of PEACE.
It's amazing... that the ONE thing that everyone tries to find more than anything....is Peace. But you can't find it...until you find God. Who IS.




Numbers 6:24-26 "YAHWEH bless you and keep you. YAHWEH make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. YAHWEH lift up His face upon you and give you SHALOM. In the name of SAR SHALOM - the Prince of Peace."

Give you "Shalom", COMPLETE PEACE. He's the author of the Life! Trust Him.

When Faith takes over...

On Thanksgiving a couple days ago, I was watching Miracle on 34th Street on TV..(1994 version) ;)
I love the original...but this one did it justice. But one quote that "Kris Kringle" said to "Ms. Walker" just really stuck out. The whole movie is about FAITH. Faith in...Santa Claus...and what it is to have some Faith in general...

"If... you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt."

What's going on in this scene is Ms. Walker, head of staff at Coles department store, is talking about how it doesn't make any sense to have faith in things that seem unreal, less stable, illogical, or things you simply... can't see.

Kris, aka Santa Claus, tells her basically that if you can't accept anything by faith...then you will lead a life completely won out by fear and doubt. He says that she'd question everything and never give in to the idea that something GREAT is out there.

Faith, in our life, is also everything. IF we let ourselves get so tied down to a world where we have faith in SOME things...and use our "logical sense" for other things...we start taking away from God's and putting everything into OUR hands. I'll be honest, the more in life I try to "figure things out" and "work through things logically" and "according to plan"...is when my life gets all screwed up into a mess that only leads me to doubting good can even happen.

Even lately thinking about "the job" that I want, or graduating and looking for "the career"...I sit and go crazy trying to figure out where to look, how to search, who to talk to....and it COMPLETELY overwhelms me. Then I remember one thing that apparently I forget too often....

My GOD is SO Big.

HE can handle the little things in my life. HE can handle the things that I think are little that may be even bigger than I'd ever know. HE knows what's going on when I'm completely blind to it.
HE tells me to Trust Him. He reminds me that if I put absolutely ALL of my faith in Him, that He'll just go farther. The more we release to God...the more HE takes over. He says its our free will to give our will back to Him. Faith, may be very scary....I know this.

But living a life "dominated" by doubt...is honestly I whole lot scarier. So try to release more and more, day by day, to a God who just wants you to put your faith into Him. A God who loves you...and will SHOW you just how much...all He wants from us...is to put our FAITH in Him.

Back in the city....just a little "less" city ;)

So exactly one week ago today, me and my friend, Jessica, moved to NYC. We packed up all the "stuff" we could into my new/used...AWESOME car...(which btw holds a LOT my than the little Mazda would have) and drove to NYC. (oh...plus 2 little dogs in their lil pet taxi's)

I have been meaning to blog to give an update more quickly, but its amazing how fast time flies and the day is over. Maybe it's just the night-time getting here at 4:30pm. ha I dunno. I've just been really busy trying to get settled in.

So we came up here on a little leap of faith. Neither of us have a job. We didn't already have an apartment. We brought enough money though to last us awhile if we were homeless and jobless a bit longer than expected.

Currently, we have an apartment...and currently, we are both still jobless. Prayers please. :)

Here's how the Beginning went down...

FIRST OFF....God is good. We found an awesome apartment in a matter of 2 days.

But to start...the first day, which felt like an absolute eternity... we were in Staten Island looking and calling for apartments.
We met with a man and his father who told us we could have their "mother-daughter" apartment... (supposedly that's what it's called when your apartment is like a basement attached to a person's home)...they told us we could have it IF we gave him Dad's social security number. That was the very first guy we met with. Weird....he asked for it about 4 times.
"I mean neither of yous guys have jobs...so...I'ma hafta have your dad's social security number JUST IN CASE."
To say the least...I had a bad feeling about him. Sooo we told him we'd get back to him on that. Then we prayed about it.

Still DAY ONE... we called a bunch of other landlord people and they kept saying ONE thing to us over and over again..."No...I don't allow pets."

Finally it turned dark out and we met w/ one lady who lived right near the ocean of the south-side of Staten Island...
She lived in a very nice and ritzy neighborhood. We waited for her to get home. (ha...not stalking...just waiting)
She led us down to her "mother-daughter" apartment and it was MUCH nicer than the first guy's.
We loved it. Already had 2 twin beds. Had brand new appliances. Great layout. Had a spot for washer and dryer....BUT it had carpet. Eh...well...the dogs are SORTA potty trained...Either way...we wanted it. The lady looked at us...and said..."How many dogs you have? 2? I'll call you back tomorrow"

We actually thought she liked us. We prayed that she would pick us.

The next day came and we were still checking out apts. Many STILL said "no" about the pets.

Eventually Jessica found this one guy who said we could come by at 4:00 and check his out. He posted it that day. The apt seemed cool on craigslist.

We had a lot of time to waste...and once again, this day, DAY 2, seemed very long...being in a new city without a place to call "home" was a little hard. I don't know why it seemed so long...but I guess anticipation was killing me. The "unknown" was becoming overwhelming.

Anyway, we drove over to his house, knocked on the door....VERY nice house, nice neighborhood...a kid answered the door. He told us to hold on. His mom opened the door and she told us her husband wasn't home. She made her oldest son show us the apt. It was ALSO very nice. AND...had tile floor in every room :) We liked it. It was furnished already...come to find out...it was the last renter's stuff. Well...the dad gets home and starts asking us if we like it. He told us we were the first to respond to his listing on craigslist..(WAY to go Jessica!) He then told us he liked us and just needed to go talk to his wife. So we drove off...well, sort of. We drove about 3 seconds down the road and made phone calls to our parents telling them we THINK we got one. About 2 minutes later we start driving off again and the landlord guy calls us. "Ummm me and my wife talked...she asked if your dogs barked...I told her they meowed like a cat...haha....yous can have it if you want it"

WE were SOOOO happy. It was much better than the first apt...much better than the 2nd one that we even loved...and the best part...LOWER IN PRICE. :) God is too good to us.

Well to sum it up...I know its a long first post...

We have had our work a bit cut out for us. The last renter is kinda...under some weird circumstances...and his stuff should be taken out sooner or later. We moved all of it to the bedroom...good thing the couch is a pull out bed. Much better than the Blow-up mattress we brought to "rough it" till Dad brings the furniture. Once again, God is good...though its a little weird because we feel like we are "renting" some of his stuff...but hey, its in our apt right now. Soo...might as well. Ok I'm gonna stop here. This was just a really long overdue update.

Thanks for all the prayers. God is amazing in so many ways. Now just trying to keep the faith as the job hunt continues...

:)

The End....or is it?? ha

This is my last blog....at least on here. Why? Because...I'm no longer in NYC ha.

Truthfully, I've been slacking. I meant to write a CLOSING post right after I left NY and EVERY time I started...I couldn't finish. I just didn't feel like saying anything. I now know why. ;)

So, New York and my internship... all I can say is that God took me there. He did it ALL. He got me the internship in the city I never imagined having it in. He got me to fill out an application 4 times because I kept messing up. He got them to call a random girl from Alabama. AND he somehow convinced my parents to let me go. God knew what He wanted. (and I had no idea how anything was gonna play out, but there I went!)

I really thought NY would be about me getting "my foot in the door"....well, I found out, it was more of something else. God moved me when I was in NY. He opened up doors and I got way more than a foot in....I got attached to the city. Really, the people in the city. Lots of reasons people move to NYC...and truth is, these people may be the most honest with themselves than most. They don't seem to hide who they are as much. They may not have life figured out...but wait a second, I don't think we do either. They just seemed more REAL than most people. In NY I met a lot of DIFFERENT people. DIFFERENT cultures. DIFFERENT lifestyles. DIFFERENT experiences, etc etc. And the city screams this....

"THIS IS ME....I NEED to CONNECT"

And God opened my eyes to THE connection. It's simple. It's Him. People will search forever and ever and go anywhere and everywhere to...connect. And its not just people in NYC...its people one step outside your door. And its us. I found out how much I desire to connect. To connect with someone or something....but the ONE thing my soul screams to CONNECT with is more of a WHO....to my Creator. (just like every soul in the world)

So God gave me AWESOME friends in NYC. In a matter of 3 months...I met AMAZING people, and formed everlasting friendships. (call it corny, but I'll just call it the truth) He spoke to me through conversations that literally moved me. He gave me Moments that will stick with me forever. He didn't bring me to NY for just an internship....He brought me to NYC to connect.... with Him.

As people, as His CREATION...we will ALWAYS have a Desire to Connect. We'll try to with anyone and anything until the day we die....because they can't fix the lost connection. Only One can. And more than anything, He wants to. Jesus made THAT possible...so now...we have to daily be open and desiring of the Connection with our Creator. Everyone is looking. "God is not Dead nor does He sleep..." He loves us ---He just wants us to reconnect with Him.

So that is what God taught me in NYC.

Tomorrow I start my final semester at UNA...and that's scary. And weird. AND scary. Yes, it's that big to me. No telling where I'm going after May. I'm open to anything and everything...cuz HONESTLY, i have NO idea what is to come. I don't have any specifics to even ask for. So...time to trust Him again. As best I flippin' can!

Let the semester begin ;)

oy.... ha

****God connects people to each other too. For a reason. Just trust Him to bring people into your life and let them go when life takes them another way....its ok. We're all headed to the same place in the end anyway, when we follow our Creator's lead****