"It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen..."

Man. I don't even know where to begin. Today has not turned out at all how I expected. Ha. I mean to a degree, it was "planned out." But it didn't really go "AS PLANNED."

"We take one step at a time, no need to rush. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen."

I think in life we can take steps closer and closer every day....to understanding God....if we OPEN our eyes ;)

Today was Definitely one of those days for me. And this is how it went....

I had NO plans for the day :) I woke up around 7am and relaxed in bed watching Felicity Season II until I was ready to get going. Oh, and I went downstairs to get a cinnamon bagel ;) Ha...so I finally got ready and took about a lazy hour of doing my hair slowly. I had no plans today other than updating my blog :)

Well....while I was in the apt all by myself, I realized how worn out I was. Was it the food poisoning from this weekend? Was it the fact I'm nearing the end of my NY adventure? Maybe it's all the STUFF in my mind that I carry constantly. Hmmm..either way. I was worn out. I set my blowdryer down. And looked myself in the mirror...and LET myself cry.

It was an amazing relief. It just felt good. It was heartfelt and lasted for about 2 minutes. Then it was over. :)

So my mind recently has felt this. "I know God loves the WHOLE world...and that He knows us all by name, and how many hairs are on each of our heads, and how important we all are to Him....but how much does DANIELLE MCCLURE mean to God?"

I mean I don't mean that to sound selfish. I mean it to sound honest. I tell people all the time how Important they are to God.. and they are. But lately, I felt like just another number. It's almost Thanksgiving and it's my 2nd year in a row not to be with my family. Shockingly, I'm in nyc again haha. So I was thinking...hmmm...what to do for thanksgiving. I don't know. Truthfully I'm debating spending time with God all day. I may seem like a loner, but HE is Family....

I think I need it. I think at the moment I need to REMEMBER how important I am to God. So today I decided to pray a NEW 3-word prayer. 3 years ago, in 2006, I was with 3 of my good friends in Florence and we "stumbled upon" a 3-word prayer book called "Surprise Me, God." We released all our cares, worries, burdens, and requests and let the 3 word prayer take over. It RADICALLY changed my prayer life. Well...that's another story for another day...(if you haven't heard it already ;) ) but today I decided to pray 3 new words for 30 days....

"Love Me God"

I know that may sound weird. Or conceited... but maybe it took me coming to NYC to realize how much I want God to simply Love Me. I know He does...but I want Him to love on me even more. I need HIS LOVE more than ANY love I can get from any person or thing on this earth. {btw when I say ONLY those 3 words, I mean as my Personal Prayer. The prayer extends for other people ;) }

So....I was going to blog about my SEARCH for understanding God's love for me in the Bible, and how I'm praying those 3 words the next 30 days..which surprisingly ends on my 23rd Birthday. haha ironic?

But no...

God. Changed. My. Plans.

I went to starbucks and sat down to Genesis 1:1. Just to start with my understanding of God's Love. And I kept reading and reading and reading......

NOPE. Plan has changed. I'm not gonna just read to find God's love for me by searching through random scriptures...I'M GONNA READ THE WHOLE BIBLE. I never have. I hope the next 30 days...that I can do this. I PRAY I can all before I'm 23. haha. Daddy says It's possible ;) So here goes. God knew what He was gonna do with me today. He just had to lead me there.

Never forget that God DOES Love Us. All of Us. Individually. He will be REAL and the Greatest Father we could ever have...so run to His open arms.

-----sorry so long. It's been a random day. The Bible is really fun to read. :) I'm sure Numbers will get old...but we'll just take it "One Step at a Time" ;)

-love you all. Thanks for the "Food Poisoning" prayers :)

We're Beautiful People.

I'll be honest...I'm not writing down all these great little stories and moments that happen EVERY day here to me in NYC. There's just so many. There's so many random thoughts that hit me. There's random moments that I just KNOW are planted FOR me from God. I really really should write them down...you know my memory won't hold them long. Anyway. I'll try to give you a glimpse from this last week.

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First of all, God SHOCKED me with something this week. A good shock. I don't know what to think of it really, but something I've been praying for for so long, took a step forward in happening. Too personal to write on here...but, God is so good to me. I don't know why honestly. But He's just so good to me.

Ok so this next thing is not something I'm telling you because I want to brag...or try to make myself sound good...because I wasn't planning on telling anyone. I just thought, God did something really moving TO me. This Wednesday, a lady ordered a burrito and she saw that we put the wrong beans in it. (Black ones, instead of Pinto ha) Well, my boss about dumps it in the trash and I go "STOP! Ha...can I have that?" They were gonna chunk it! There are soooo many homeless and hungry people outside on this cold cold night...and we're sitting here throwing away BIG WARM BURRITOS. Uh...no. So. I ask for it. They go..."You want to take it?" HA. Yes.

So I get off about 20 min later....and I decide to go to 34th St. Penn Station to pick up my train ticket for home...just because I had time. Well, I grabbed the burrito bag and put on my backpack and walked out the door.

"Ok God...present me with a homeless person to give this burrito to please."

.....I am not lying, I did not see a Homeless person for 20 minutes....I was in TIMES SQUARE! WHERE ARE THEY?! This was like 5:30...Well....I just held on to the burrito bag and walked towards Penn Station. I couldn't find the Amtrak entrance for the life of me....so I kept making wrong turns on the busy streets of NY. Well...I walk right by this man sitting down to the right of me. I almost had forgotten what I was ORIGINALLY looking for...WELL ha...get this.

He was a small white older man with glasses and a toboggan on. He held a small sign that read...

"Hungry. Please help."

WHAT? It didn't say...."I lost my job, now I'm living on the streets, I will take anything...etc. etc." and he had NO hat or jar in front of him. He was simply....HUNGRY. Ok pause. Do you feel what I felt? I FELT it. God presented me with THE Hungry. I turn back around and go...

"Do you want a burrito?"

He says yes....and I give him the burrito bag. He thanks me and I just walk away. Well I find my station...and two seconds later I turn back to look at him..he's gone. He got some food. He wasn't much of a beggar, no? Just hungry. He got what he needed and walked away.

Chills.... God did that. More for ME I think than him.

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Lastly, I had 2 subway visions or thoughts in the past 2 days. Yesterday I was standing in the back of the subway train cart, leaned up against the wall. I was a foot away from a "looked like" homeless woman. Her flip flops and socks were barely making it. She rode the train with her head down, she was probably trying to catch some decent sleep in warmth. Anyway, her legs looked like they hadn't been shaven in a looonnng time. It was just sad. Then Right behind her...there was a subway sign that read "Look Closer..."

So I did. hmm...what was I looking at? Well...I turned to my left and looked at the whole cart full of passengers sitting...still....not talking....just riding. They looked tired. They looked unsociable. They looked ready to GO HOME. Then I looked closer.....I noticed the homeless lady was sitting as far in the corner away from all that she could. She probably feels that she has to. Who knows? BUT I envisioned a moment of heaven. How let's just pretend it was a train to heaven...even STRANGERS would smile and say hello to one another on the ride. They would be so much happier looking.. They would be people on their way HOME. They wouldn't have pain, or strife, or be distant. AND, the homeless lady would be NO different than them. She was sitting on the train ADMITTING she's longing for a home. We're all the same. Longing for home. We'll get tit one day. Together. AND enjoying being together. So..just a little vision as I stood at the back view of the train.

THEN today. This one was short. I just looked and remembered why NYC is so cool. I opened my closed resting eyes (ha)...while i was on the subway, and looked at who was sitting across from me. It was an african american woman, a hispanic young boy, an asian family, and a yankee (ha)...point is...they all LOOKED different...in some ways. And I could see it all at once. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. God made us BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. That's just what I thought. Small. But a fun thought. God really does love us and designed us beautifully.

THE END.

More like Jesus...

Today was a good day....but a little sad too. 

To start, today I was killing time because I was too early for work, so I went to Duane Reade and browsed. I saw a magazine issue on "Christianity" and how christians are "supposedly" representing Christ's example and standards. I can't remember the magazine name...ANYWAY....I just read those lines and thought....Do we LOOK like we are representing Jesus? I mean I'll be honest, so many days I'm so grateful to God that He forgives me. But not only should I love His grace...but I should RESEMBLE His son. Do I? Do WE? In NYC there are many many different types of people...different standards, different customs, different lifestyles, different religions, different BELIEFS altogether. Do we LOOK like we BELIEVE? You see so many people PASSIONATE about what they Believe. I hope we are. Or I hope we become more conscious. 

And now for my story.

One of my favorite co-workers name is Elizabeth. She's hispanic and speaks 30% English. We had one cold morning where we waited inside this lobby area until anyone got to work. We talked and kinda had a good conversation. BEFORE that day though, we just always smiled at each other when we passed by...you know the "language barrier." She works in the kitchen, and I'm out front most of the time. Well, I loved when we would just smile at each other every day haha :) ...BUT we finally had a chance to talk that one morning. Since then, we knew each others names and talked a bit more while working together. She told me her and her husband were in NY just for a little while longer...a few more months. Her kids were still in Mexico with her mother. Elizabeth is a sweetheart. No doubt about it. She just has a good HEART. She shows it at work, outside of work...to everyone. Well...today my boss hands me a card and says "Sign it." .....

I'm like who is this for? 

"It's for Elizabeth. She's leaving. Today is her last day. Her grandmother died so they are moving back to Mexico asap."

I'll be honest, I was pretty sad...I knew I would be leaving NY in a month and all, but I was enjoying everybody BEING THERE till I left....anyway...Everyone at work was pretty emotional. We all gave her a cake and big hugs. She cried a little, and so did some others. Well what's funny is that our store has only been open for a month and a half....its amazing that people got to like her so fast, right? I kinda think it's because she resembles Jesus....

So when we gave Elizabeth that cake, guess what happened next? Ha. She starts cutting it up and passing out a piece to everyone. She came out to my register to hand me a slice. She just kept going until everyone got a piece. She hasn't even eaten a piece yet... I'm telling you...she's got the heart of Jesus...and it shows in her actions. 

That's something I need to work on. All of my actions, thoughts, drives, need to be closer to Jesus' ways. 

Anyway, so there's my blog post. Don't worry everything is good here :) I'm enjoying every day and everything God wants to put into my days. I'm grateful I get to meet amazing people. I hope and pray we can be more like Jesus. That's what this world needs. 

Lata!