When Faith takes over...

On Thanksgiving a couple days ago, I was watching Miracle on 34th Street on TV..(1994 version) ;)
I love the original...but this one did it justice. But one quote that "Kris Kringle" said to "Ms. Walker" just really stuck out. The whole movie is about FAITH. Faith in...Santa Claus...and what it is to have some Faith in general...

"If... you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt."

What's going on in this scene is Ms. Walker, head of staff at Coles department store, is talking about how it doesn't make any sense to have faith in things that seem unreal, less stable, illogical, or things you simply... can't see.

Kris, aka Santa Claus, tells her basically that if you can't accept anything by faith...then you will lead a life completely won out by fear and doubt. He says that she'd question everything and never give in to the idea that something GREAT is out there.

Faith, in our life, is also everything. IF we let ourselves get so tied down to a world where we have faith in SOME things...and use our "logical sense" for other things...we start taking away from God's and putting everything into OUR hands. I'll be honest, the more in life I try to "figure things out" and "work through things logically" and "according to plan"...is when my life gets all screwed up into a mess that only leads me to doubting good can even happen.

Even lately thinking about "the job" that I want, or graduating and looking for "the career"...I sit and go crazy trying to figure out where to look, how to search, who to talk to....and it COMPLETELY overwhelms me. Then I remember one thing that apparently I forget too often....

My GOD is SO Big.

HE can handle the little things in my life. HE can handle the things that I think are little that may be even bigger than I'd ever know. HE knows what's going on when I'm completely blind to it.
HE tells me to Trust Him. He reminds me that if I put absolutely ALL of my faith in Him, that He'll just go farther. The more we release to God...the more HE takes over. He says its our free will to give our will back to Him. Faith, may be very scary....I know this.

But living a life "dominated" by doubt...is honestly I whole lot scarier. So try to release more and more, day by day, to a God who just wants you to put your faith into Him. A God who loves you...and will SHOW you just how much...all He wants from us...is to put our FAITH in Him.

Back in the city....just a little "less" city ;)

So exactly one week ago today, me and my friend, Jessica, moved to NYC. We packed up all the "stuff" we could into my new/used...AWESOME car...(which btw holds a LOT my than the little Mazda would have) and drove to NYC. (oh...plus 2 little dogs in their lil pet taxi's)

I have been meaning to blog to give an update more quickly, but its amazing how fast time flies and the day is over. Maybe it's just the night-time getting here at 4:30pm. ha I dunno. I've just been really busy trying to get settled in.

So we came up here on a little leap of faith. Neither of us have a job. We didn't already have an apartment. We brought enough money though to last us awhile if we were homeless and jobless a bit longer than expected.

Currently, we have an apartment...and currently, we are both still jobless. Prayers please. :)

Here's how the Beginning went down...

FIRST OFF....God is good. We found an awesome apartment in a matter of 2 days.

But to start...the first day, which felt like an absolute eternity... we were in Staten Island looking and calling for apartments.
We met with a man and his father who told us we could have their "mother-daughter" apartment... (supposedly that's what it's called when your apartment is like a basement attached to a person's home)...they told us we could have it IF we gave him Dad's social security number. That was the very first guy we met with. Weird....he asked for it about 4 times.
"I mean neither of yous guys have jobs...so...I'ma hafta have your dad's social security number JUST IN CASE."
To say the least...I had a bad feeling about him. Sooo we told him we'd get back to him on that. Then we prayed about it.

Still DAY ONE... we called a bunch of other landlord people and they kept saying ONE thing to us over and over again..."No...I don't allow pets."

Finally it turned dark out and we met w/ one lady who lived right near the ocean of the south-side of Staten Island...
She lived in a very nice and ritzy neighborhood. We waited for her to get home. (ha...not stalking...just waiting)
She led us down to her "mother-daughter" apartment and it was MUCH nicer than the first guy's.
We loved it. Already had 2 twin beds. Had brand new appliances. Great layout. Had a spot for washer and dryer....BUT it had carpet. Eh...well...the dogs are SORTA potty trained...Either way...we wanted it. The lady looked at us...and said..."How many dogs you have? 2? I'll call you back tomorrow"

We actually thought she liked us. We prayed that she would pick us.

The next day came and we were still checking out apts. Many STILL said "no" about the pets.

Eventually Jessica found this one guy who said we could come by at 4:00 and check his out. He posted it that day. The apt seemed cool on craigslist.

We had a lot of time to waste...and once again, this day, DAY 2, seemed very long...being in a new city without a place to call "home" was a little hard. I don't know why it seemed so long...but I guess anticipation was killing me. The "unknown" was becoming overwhelming.

Anyway, we drove over to his house, knocked on the door....VERY nice house, nice neighborhood...a kid answered the door. He told us to hold on. His mom opened the door and she told us her husband wasn't home. She made her oldest son show us the apt. It was ALSO very nice. AND...had tile floor in every room :) We liked it. It was furnished already...come to find out...it was the last renter's stuff. Well...the dad gets home and starts asking us if we like it. He told us we were the first to respond to his listing on craigslist..(WAY to go Jessica!) He then told us he liked us and just needed to go talk to his wife. So we drove off...well, sort of. We drove about 3 seconds down the road and made phone calls to our parents telling them we THINK we got one. About 2 minutes later we start driving off again and the landlord guy calls us. "Ummm me and my wife talked...she asked if your dogs barked...I told her they meowed like a cat...haha....yous can have it if you want it"

WE were SOOOO happy. It was much better than the first apt...much better than the 2nd one that we even loved...and the best part...LOWER IN PRICE. :) God is too good to us.

Well to sum it up...I know its a long first post...

We have had our work a bit cut out for us. The last renter is kinda...under some weird circumstances...and his stuff should be taken out sooner or later. We moved all of it to the bedroom...good thing the couch is a pull out bed. Much better than the Blow-up mattress we brought to "rough it" till Dad brings the furniture. Once again, God is good...though its a little weird because we feel like we are "renting" some of his stuff...but hey, its in our apt right now. Soo...might as well. Ok I'm gonna stop here. This was just a really long overdue update.

Thanks for all the prayers. God is amazing in so many ways. Now just trying to keep the faith as the job hunt continues...

:)

The End....or is it?? ha

This is my last blog....at least on here. Why? Because...I'm no longer in NYC ha.

Truthfully, I've been slacking. I meant to write a CLOSING post right after I left NY and EVERY time I started...I couldn't finish. I just didn't feel like saying anything. I now know why. ;)

So, New York and my internship... all I can say is that God took me there. He did it ALL. He got me the internship in the city I never imagined having it in. He got me to fill out an application 4 times because I kept messing up. He got them to call a random girl from Alabama. AND he somehow convinced my parents to let me go. God knew what He wanted. (and I had no idea how anything was gonna play out, but there I went!)

I really thought NY would be about me getting "my foot in the door"....well, I found out, it was more of something else. God moved me when I was in NY. He opened up doors and I got way more than a foot in....I got attached to the city. Really, the people in the city. Lots of reasons people move to NYC...and truth is, these people may be the most honest with themselves than most. They don't seem to hide who they are as much. They may not have life figured out...but wait a second, I don't think we do either. They just seemed more REAL than most people. In NY I met a lot of DIFFERENT people. DIFFERENT cultures. DIFFERENT lifestyles. DIFFERENT experiences, etc etc. And the city screams this....

"THIS IS ME....I NEED to CONNECT"

And God opened my eyes to THE connection. It's simple. It's Him. People will search forever and ever and go anywhere and everywhere to...connect. And its not just people in NYC...its people one step outside your door. And its us. I found out how much I desire to connect. To connect with someone or something....but the ONE thing my soul screams to CONNECT with is more of a WHO....to my Creator. (just like every soul in the world)

So God gave me AWESOME friends in NYC. In a matter of 3 months...I met AMAZING people, and formed everlasting friendships. (call it corny, but I'll just call it the truth) He spoke to me through conversations that literally moved me. He gave me Moments that will stick with me forever. He didn't bring me to NY for just an internship....He brought me to NYC to connect.... with Him.

As people, as His CREATION...we will ALWAYS have a Desire to Connect. We'll try to with anyone and anything until the day we die....because they can't fix the lost connection. Only One can. And more than anything, He wants to. Jesus made THAT possible...so now...we have to daily be open and desiring of the Connection with our Creator. Everyone is looking. "God is not Dead nor does He sleep..." He loves us ---He just wants us to reconnect with Him.

So that is what God taught me in NYC.

Tomorrow I start my final semester at UNA...and that's scary. And weird. AND scary. Yes, it's that big to me. No telling where I'm going after May. I'm open to anything and everything...cuz HONESTLY, i have NO idea what is to come. I don't have any specifics to even ask for. So...time to trust Him again. As best I flippin' can!

Let the semester begin ;)

oy.... ha

****God connects people to each other too. For a reason. Just trust Him to bring people into your life and let them go when life takes them another way....its ok. We're all headed to the same place in the end anyway, when we follow our Creator's lead****

"It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen..."

Man. I don't even know where to begin. Today has not turned out at all how I expected. Ha. I mean to a degree, it was "planned out." But it didn't really go "AS PLANNED."

"We take one step at a time, no need to rush. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen."

I think in life we can take steps closer and closer every day....to understanding God....if we OPEN our eyes ;)

Today was Definitely one of those days for me. And this is how it went....

I had NO plans for the day :) I woke up around 7am and relaxed in bed watching Felicity Season II until I was ready to get going. Oh, and I went downstairs to get a cinnamon bagel ;) Ha...so I finally got ready and took about a lazy hour of doing my hair slowly. I had no plans today other than updating my blog :)

Well....while I was in the apt all by myself, I realized how worn out I was. Was it the food poisoning from this weekend? Was it the fact I'm nearing the end of my NY adventure? Maybe it's all the STUFF in my mind that I carry constantly. Hmmm..either way. I was worn out. I set my blowdryer down. And looked myself in the mirror...and LET myself cry.

It was an amazing relief. It just felt good. It was heartfelt and lasted for about 2 minutes. Then it was over. :)

So my mind recently has felt this. "I know God loves the WHOLE world...and that He knows us all by name, and how many hairs are on each of our heads, and how important we all are to Him....but how much does DANIELLE MCCLURE mean to God?"

I mean I don't mean that to sound selfish. I mean it to sound honest. I tell people all the time how Important they are to God.. and they are. But lately, I felt like just another number. It's almost Thanksgiving and it's my 2nd year in a row not to be with my family. Shockingly, I'm in nyc again haha. So I was thinking...hmmm...what to do for thanksgiving. I don't know. Truthfully I'm debating spending time with God all day. I may seem like a loner, but HE is Family....

I think I need it. I think at the moment I need to REMEMBER how important I am to God. So today I decided to pray a NEW 3-word prayer. 3 years ago, in 2006, I was with 3 of my good friends in Florence and we "stumbled upon" a 3-word prayer book called "Surprise Me, God." We released all our cares, worries, burdens, and requests and let the 3 word prayer take over. It RADICALLY changed my prayer life. Well...that's another story for another day...(if you haven't heard it already ;) ) but today I decided to pray 3 new words for 30 days....

"Love Me God"

I know that may sound weird. Or conceited... but maybe it took me coming to NYC to realize how much I want God to simply Love Me. I know He does...but I want Him to love on me even more. I need HIS LOVE more than ANY love I can get from any person or thing on this earth. {btw when I say ONLY those 3 words, I mean as my Personal Prayer. The prayer extends for other people ;) }

So....I was going to blog about my SEARCH for understanding God's love for me in the Bible, and how I'm praying those 3 words the next 30 days..which surprisingly ends on my 23rd Birthday. haha ironic?

But no...

God. Changed. My. Plans.

I went to starbucks and sat down to Genesis 1:1. Just to start with my understanding of God's Love. And I kept reading and reading and reading......

NOPE. Plan has changed. I'm not gonna just read to find God's love for me by searching through random scriptures...I'M GONNA READ THE WHOLE BIBLE. I never have. I hope the next 30 days...that I can do this. I PRAY I can all before I'm 23. haha. Daddy says It's possible ;) So here goes. God knew what He was gonna do with me today. He just had to lead me there.

Never forget that God DOES Love Us. All of Us. Individually. He will be REAL and the Greatest Father we could ever have...so run to His open arms.

-----sorry so long. It's been a random day. The Bible is really fun to read. :) I'm sure Numbers will get old...but we'll just take it "One Step at a Time" ;)

-love you all. Thanks for the "Food Poisoning" prayers :)

We're Beautiful People.

I'll be honest...I'm not writing down all these great little stories and moments that happen EVERY day here to me in NYC. There's just so many. There's so many random thoughts that hit me. There's random moments that I just KNOW are planted FOR me from God. I really really should write them down...you know my memory won't hold them long. Anyway. I'll try to give you a glimpse from this last week.

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First of all, God SHOCKED me with something this week. A good shock. I don't know what to think of it really, but something I've been praying for for so long, took a step forward in happening. Too personal to write on here...but, God is so good to me. I don't know why honestly. But He's just so good to me.

Ok so this next thing is not something I'm telling you because I want to brag...or try to make myself sound good...because I wasn't planning on telling anyone. I just thought, God did something really moving TO me. This Wednesday, a lady ordered a burrito and she saw that we put the wrong beans in it. (Black ones, instead of Pinto ha) Well, my boss about dumps it in the trash and I go "STOP! Ha...can I have that?" They were gonna chunk it! There are soooo many homeless and hungry people outside on this cold cold night...and we're sitting here throwing away BIG WARM BURRITOS. Uh...no. So. I ask for it. They go..."You want to take it?" HA. Yes.

So I get off about 20 min later....and I decide to go to 34th St. Penn Station to pick up my train ticket for home...just because I had time. Well, I grabbed the burrito bag and put on my backpack and walked out the door.

"Ok God...present me with a homeless person to give this burrito to please."

.....I am not lying, I did not see a Homeless person for 20 minutes....I was in TIMES SQUARE! WHERE ARE THEY?! This was like 5:30...Well....I just held on to the burrito bag and walked towards Penn Station. I couldn't find the Amtrak entrance for the life of me....so I kept making wrong turns on the busy streets of NY. Well...I walk right by this man sitting down to the right of me. I almost had forgotten what I was ORIGINALLY looking for...WELL ha...get this.

He was a small white older man with glasses and a toboggan on. He held a small sign that read...

"Hungry. Please help."

WHAT? It didn't say...."I lost my job, now I'm living on the streets, I will take anything...etc. etc." and he had NO hat or jar in front of him. He was simply....HUNGRY. Ok pause. Do you feel what I felt? I FELT it. God presented me with THE Hungry. I turn back around and go...

"Do you want a burrito?"

He says yes....and I give him the burrito bag. He thanks me and I just walk away. Well I find my station...and two seconds later I turn back to look at him..he's gone. He got some food. He wasn't much of a beggar, no? Just hungry. He got what he needed and walked away.

Chills.... God did that. More for ME I think than him.

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Lastly, I had 2 subway visions or thoughts in the past 2 days. Yesterday I was standing in the back of the subway train cart, leaned up against the wall. I was a foot away from a "looked like" homeless woman. Her flip flops and socks were barely making it. She rode the train with her head down, she was probably trying to catch some decent sleep in warmth. Anyway, her legs looked like they hadn't been shaven in a looonnng time. It was just sad. Then Right behind her...there was a subway sign that read "Look Closer..."

So I did. hmm...what was I looking at? Well...I turned to my left and looked at the whole cart full of passengers sitting...still....not talking....just riding. They looked tired. They looked unsociable. They looked ready to GO HOME. Then I looked closer.....I noticed the homeless lady was sitting as far in the corner away from all that she could. She probably feels that she has to. Who knows? BUT I envisioned a moment of heaven. How let's just pretend it was a train to heaven...even STRANGERS would smile and say hello to one another on the ride. They would be so much happier looking.. They would be people on their way HOME. They wouldn't have pain, or strife, or be distant. AND, the homeless lady would be NO different than them. She was sitting on the train ADMITTING she's longing for a home. We're all the same. Longing for home. We'll get tit one day. Together. AND enjoying being together. So..just a little vision as I stood at the back view of the train.

THEN today. This one was short. I just looked and remembered why NYC is so cool. I opened my closed resting eyes (ha)...while i was on the subway, and looked at who was sitting across from me. It was an african american woman, a hispanic young boy, an asian family, and a yankee (ha)...point is...they all LOOKED different...in some ways. And I could see it all at once. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. God made us BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. That's just what I thought. Small. But a fun thought. God really does love us and designed us beautifully.

THE END.

More like Jesus...

Today was a good day....but a little sad too. 

To start, today I was killing time because I was too early for work, so I went to Duane Reade and browsed. I saw a magazine issue on "Christianity" and how christians are "supposedly" representing Christ's example and standards. I can't remember the magazine name...ANYWAY....I just read those lines and thought....Do we LOOK like we are representing Jesus? I mean I'll be honest, so many days I'm so grateful to God that He forgives me. But not only should I love His grace...but I should RESEMBLE His son. Do I? Do WE? In NYC there are many many different types of people...different standards, different customs, different lifestyles, different religions, different BELIEFS altogether. Do we LOOK like we BELIEVE? You see so many people PASSIONATE about what they Believe. I hope we are. Or I hope we become more conscious. 

And now for my story.

One of my favorite co-workers name is Elizabeth. She's hispanic and speaks 30% English. We had one cold morning where we waited inside this lobby area until anyone got to work. We talked and kinda had a good conversation. BEFORE that day though, we just always smiled at each other when we passed by...you know the "language barrier." She works in the kitchen, and I'm out front most of the time. Well, I loved when we would just smile at each other every day haha :) ...BUT we finally had a chance to talk that one morning. Since then, we knew each others names and talked a bit more while working together. She told me her and her husband were in NY just for a little while longer...a few more months. Her kids were still in Mexico with her mother. Elizabeth is a sweetheart. No doubt about it. She just has a good HEART. She shows it at work, outside of work...to everyone. Well...today my boss hands me a card and says "Sign it." .....

I'm like who is this for? 

"It's for Elizabeth. She's leaving. Today is her last day. Her grandmother died so they are moving back to Mexico asap."

I'll be honest, I was pretty sad...I knew I would be leaving NY in a month and all, but I was enjoying everybody BEING THERE till I left....anyway...Everyone at work was pretty emotional. We all gave her a cake and big hugs. She cried a little, and so did some others. Well what's funny is that our store has only been open for a month and a half....its amazing that people got to like her so fast, right? I kinda think it's because she resembles Jesus....

So when we gave Elizabeth that cake, guess what happened next? Ha. She starts cutting it up and passing out a piece to everyone. She came out to my register to hand me a slice. She just kept going until everyone got a piece. She hasn't even eaten a piece yet... I'm telling you...she's got the heart of Jesus...and it shows in her actions. 

That's something I need to work on. All of my actions, thoughts, drives, need to be closer to Jesus' ways. 

Anyway, so there's my blog post. Don't worry everything is good here :) I'm enjoying every day and everything God wants to put into my days. I'm grateful I get to meet amazing people. I hope and pray we can be more like Jesus. That's what this world needs. 

Lata!

"Much to our dismay...."

I'm at Starbucks, right? ...

"Can I get an iced 2 shots of espresso and soy milk?"

--"We are out of soy milk...I'm sorry"

"Oh. Really?"

---"Yes. Much to our dismay."

******************

THERE'S A GROCERY STORE RIGHT NEXT STORE! I just don't understand....Want me to go pick you up some? ha. Sorry....do you ever find that stuff odd??? ah well.

Welp. Guys. I have been wanting to write for days...but getting around to it is kinda hard some times. I get so comfortable when I finally get home, that I just watch movies and such. I let my mind go BLANK. It's a Great feeling to do that haha.

BUT....this past couple of weeks...or so....have been good. Interesting, but good.

To say the least, God, once again.....wants me to remember that HE knows the game plan....and Danielle does not.

I don't feel like explaining all of this...but I just thought I had some things figured out while I was here...and I don't. Ha. Purpose? Reasons? What's next? I know nothing. And you know what?

It's ok. :)

God has put fun little things in my days lately. Such as...I was watching Felicity Season 2 a few days ago. (she's a girl who moves to NYC for school and has all sorts of drama in her life...ha no making fun of my show man) ANYWAY...there's a scene where she gets on the subway and HAPPENS to get on the SAME subway AND subway cart as her friend she's mad at. WELL...I was thinking....

"Weird. How likely is it to actually see someone on the subway you know. Even if you are going the same way....Just not gonna happen. AND even if you DO get on the same train...it's NOT like you'll get on the exact same CART of the train."

Well....God proved ME wrong. Last night I hopped on a train...and did a weird transfer that I ALMOST didn't...and I got on and heard .... "Danielle!"

What? Someone just say my name? I looked up...and it was my new buddy from Starbucks that I always talk to. HA. Ironic, no? God is funny always proving me wrong.

So today I saw the cutest little boy, looked about 5 years old. He was with his mother who let him sit down on the subway as she stood up because there weren't enough seats. Awww...what a cute little boy...holding a newspaper with "HERION HIGH" on the front cover. Odd. Sad sad world....ah well. This IS planet Earth. Not HEAVEN....where the headlines will read "GOD-ON-HIGH"

Random but...there's a security guard that works downstairs at Baja Fresh ...who barks. BARKS. What in the world?

So I reached my halfway point last friday. 7 weeks down...7 to go. Why am I still searching for meaning here? Like daily I search for my purpose in NYC. I need to remember that it's not for me to know...and just live. God will use us in the WEIRDEST ways....and we just gotta let Him do His thing through US. God is good. He's got our purposes being worked out daily....so live it out!

-danielle