"It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen..."

Man. I don't even know where to begin. Today has not turned out at all how I expected. Ha. I mean to a degree, it was "planned out." But it didn't really go "AS PLANNED."

"We take one step at a time, no need to rush. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen."

I think in life we can take steps closer and closer every day....to understanding God....if we OPEN our eyes ;)

Today was Definitely one of those days for me. And this is how it went....

I had NO plans for the day :) I woke up around 7am and relaxed in bed watching Felicity Season II until I was ready to get going. Oh, and I went downstairs to get a cinnamon bagel ;) Ha...so I finally got ready and took about a lazy hour of doing my hair slowly. I had no plans today other than updating my blog :)

Well....while I was in the apt all by myself, I realized how worn out I was. Was it the food poisoning from this weekend? Was it the fact I'm nearing the end of my NY adventure? Maybe it's all the STUFF in my mind that I carry constantly. Hmmm..either way. I was worn out. I set my blowdryer down. And looked myself in the mirror...and LET myself cry.

It was an amazing relief. It just felt good. It was heartfelt and lasted for about 2 minutes. Then it was over. :)

So my mind recently has felt this. "I know God loves the WHOLE world...and that He knows us all by name, and how many hairs are on each of our heads, and how important we all are to Him....but how much does DANIELLE MCCLURE mean to God?"

I mean I don't mean that to sound selfish. I mean it to sound honest. I tell people all the time how Important they are to God.. and they are. But lately, I felt like just another number. It's almost Thanksgiving and it's my 2nd year in a row not to be with my family. Shockingly, I'm in nyc again haha. So I was thinking...hmmm...what to do for thanksgiving. I don't know. Truthfully I'm debating spending time with God all day. I may seem like a loner, but HE is Family....

I think I need it. I think at the moment I need to REMEMBER how important I am to God. So today I decided to pray a NEW 3-word prayer. 3 years ago, in 2006, I was with 3 of my good friends in Florence and we "stumbled upon" a 3-word prayer book called "Surprise Me, God." We released all our cares, worries, burdens, and requests and let the 3 word prayer take over. It RADICALLY changed my prayer life. Well...that's another story for another day...(if you haven't heard it already ;) ) but today I decided to pray 3 new words for 30 days....

"Love Me God"

I know that may sound weird. Or conceited... but maybe it took me coming to NYC to realize how much I want God to simply Love Me. I know He does...but I want Him to love on me even more. I need HIS LOVE more than ANY love I can get from any person or thing on this earth. {btw when I say ONLY those 3 words, I mean as my Personal Prayer. The prayer extends for other people ;) }

So....I was going to blog about my SEARCH for understanding God's love for me in the Bible, and how I'm praying those 3 words the next 30 days..which surprisingly ends on my 23rd Birthday. haha ironic?

But no...

God. Changed. My. Plans.

I went to starbucks and sat down to Genesis 1:1. Just to start with my understanding of God's Love. And I kept reading and reading and reading......

NOPE. Plan has changed. I'm not gonna just read to find God's love for me by searching through random scriptures...I'M GONNA READ THE WHOLE BIBLE. I never have. I hope the next 30 days...that I can do this. I PRAY I can all before I'm 23. haha. Daddy says It's possible ;) So here goes. God knew what He was gonna do with me today. He just had to lead me there.

Never forget that God DOES Love Us. All of Us. Individually. He will be REAL and the Greatest Father we could ever have...so run to His open arms.

-----sorry so long. It's been a random day. The Bible is really fun to read. :) I'm sure Numbers will get old...but we'll just take it "One Step at a Time" ;)

-love you all. Thanks for the "Food Poisoning" prayers :)

We're Beautiful People.

I'll be honest...I'm not writing down all these great little stories and moments that happen EVERY day here to me in NYC. There's just so many. There's so many random thoughts that hit me. There's random moments that I just KNOW are planted FOR me from God. I really really should write them down...you know my memory won't hold them long. Anyway. I'll try to give you a glimpse from this last week.

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First of all, God SHOCKED me with something this week. A good shock. I don't know what to think of it really, but something I've been praying for for so long, took a step forward in happening. Too personal to write on here...but, God is so good to me. I don't know why honestly. But He's just so good to me.

Ok so this next thing is not something I'm telling you because I want to brag...or try to make myself sound good...because I wasn't planning on telling anyone. I just thought, God did something really moving TO me. This Wednesday, a lady ordered a burrito and she saw that we put the wrong beans in it. (Black ones, instead of Pinto ha) Well, my boss about dumps it in the trash and I go "STOP! Ha...can I have that?" They were gonna chunk it! There are soooo many homeless and hungry people outside on this cold cold night...and we're sitting here throwing away BIG WARM BURRITOS. Uh...no. So. I ask for it. They go..."You want to take it?" HA. Yes.

So I get off about 20 min later....and I decide to go to 34th St. Penn Station to pick up my train ticket for home...just because I had time. Well, I grabbed the burrito bag and put on my backpack and walked out the door.

"Ok God...present me with a homeless person to give this burrito to please."

.....I am not lying, I did not see a Homeless person for 20 minutes....I was in TIMES SQUARE! WHERE ARE THEY?! This was like 5:30...Well....I just held on to the burrito bag and walked towards Penn Station. I couldn't find the Amtrak entrance for the life of me....so I kept making wrong turns on the busy streets of NY. Well...I walk right by this man sitting down to the right of me. I almost had forgotten what I was ORIGINALLY looking for...WELL ha...get this.

He was a small white older man with glasses and a toboggan on. He held a small sign that read...

"Hungry. Please help."

WHAT? It didn't say...."I lost my job, now I'm living on the streets, I will take anything...etc. etc." and he had NO hat or jar in front of him. He was simply....HUNGRY. Ok pause. Do you feel what I felt? I FELT it. God presented me with THE Hungry. I turn back around and go...

"Do you want a burrito?"

He says yes....and I give him the burrito bag. He thanks me and I just walk away. Well I find my station...and two seconds later I turn back to look at him..he's gone. He got some food. He wasn't much of a beggar, no? Just hungry. He got what he needed and walked away.

Chills.... God did that. More for ME I think than him.

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Lastly, I had 2 subway visions or thoughts in the past 2 days. Yesterday I was standing in the back of the subway train cart, leaned up against the wall. I was a foot away from a "looked like" homeless woman. Her flip flops and socks were barely making it. She rode the train with her head down, she was probably trying to catch some decent sleep in warmth. Anyway, her legs looked like they hadn't been shaven in a looonnng time. It was just sad. Then Right behind her...there was a subway sign that read "Look Closer..."

So I did. hmm...what was I looking at? Well...I turned to my left and looked at the whole cart full of passengers sitting...still....not talking....just riding. They looked tired. They looked unsociable. They looked ready to GO HOME. Then I looked closer.....I noticed the homeless lady was sitting as far in the corner away from all that she could. She probably feels that she has to. Who knows? BUT I envisioned a moment of heaven. How let's just pretend it was a train to heaven...even STRANGERS would smile and say hello to one another on the ride. They would be so much happier looking.. They would be people on their way HOME. They wouldn't have pain, or strife, or be distant. AND, the homeless lady would be NO different than them. She was sitting on the train ADMITTING she's longing for a home. We're all the same. Longing for home. We'll get tit one day. Together. AND enjoying being together. So..just a little vision as I stood at the back view of the train.

THEN today. This one was short. I just looked and remembered why NYC is so cool. I opened my closed resting eyes (ha)...while i was on the subway, and looked at who was sitting across from me. It was an african american woman, a hispanic young boy, an asian family, and a yankee (ha)...point is...they all LOOKED different...in some ways. And I could see it all at once. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. God made us BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. That's just what I thought. Small. But a fun thought. God really does love us and designed us beautifully.

THE END.

More like Jesus...

Today was a good day....but a little sad too. 

To start, today I was killing time because I was too early for work, so I went to Duane Reade and browsed. I saw a magazine issue on "Christianity" and how christians are "supposedly" representing Christ's example and standards. I can't remember the magazine name...ANYWAY....I just read those lines and thought....Do we LOOK like we are representing Jesus? I mean I'll be honest, so many days I'm so grateful to God that He forgives me. But not only should I love His grace...but I should RESEMBLE His son. Do I? Do WE? In NYC there are many many different types of people...different standards, different customs, different lifestyles, different religions, different BELIEFS altogether. Do we LOOK like we BELIEVE? You see so many people PASSIONATE about what they Believe. I hope we are. Or I hope we become more conscious. 

And now for my story.

One of my favorite co-workers name is Elizabeth. She's hispanic and speaks 30% English. We had one cold morning where we waited inside this lobby area until anyone got to work. We talked and kinda had a good conversation. BEFORE that day though, we just always smiled at each other when we passed by...you know the "language barrier." She works in the kitchen, and I'm out front most of the time. Well, I loved when we would just smile at each other every day haha :) ...BUT we finally had a chance to talk that one morning. Since then, we knew each others names and talked a bit more while working together. She told me her and her husband were in NY just for a little while longer...a few more months. Her kids were still in Mexico with her mother. Elizabeth is a sweetheart. No doubt about it. She just has a good HEART. She shows it at work, outside of work...to everyone. Well...today my boss hands me a card and says "Sign it." .....

I'm like who is this for? 

"It's for Elizabeth. She's leaving. Today is her last day. Her grandmother died so they are moving back to Mexico asap."

I'll be honest, I was pretty sad...I knew I would be leaving NY in a month and all, but I was enjoying everybody BEING THERE till I left....anyway...Everyone at work was pretty emotional. We all gave her a cake and big hugs. She cried a little, and so did some others. Well what's funny is that our store has only been open for a month and a half....its amazing that people got to like her so fast, right? I kinda think it's because she resembles Jesus....

So when we gave Elizabeth that cake, guess what happened next? Ha. She starts cutting it up and passing out a piece to everyone. She came out to my register to hand me a slice. She just kept going until everyone got a piece. She hasn't even eaten a piece yet... I'm telling you...she's got the heart of Jesus...and it shows in her actions. 

That's something I need to work on. All of my actions, thoughts, drives, need to be closer to Jesus' ways. 

Anyway, so there's my blog post. Don't worry everything is good here :) I'm enjoying every day and everything God wants to put into my days. I'm grateful I get to meet amazing people. I hope and pray we can be more like Jesus. That's what this world needs. 

Lata!

"Much to our dismay...."

I'm at Starbucks, right? ...

"Can I get an iced 2 shots of espresso and soy milk?"

--"We are out of soy milk...I'm sorry"

"Oh. Really?"

---"Yes. Much to our dismay."

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THERE'S A GROCERY STORE RIGHT NEXT STORE! I just don't understand....Want me to go pick you up some? ha. Sorry....do you ever find that stuff odd??? ah well.

Welp. Guys. I have been wanting to write for days...but getting around to it is kinda hard some times. I get so comfortable when I finally get home, that I just watch movies and such. I let my mind go BLANK. It's a Great feeling to do that haha.

BUT....this past couple of weeks...or so....have been good. Interesting, but good.

To say the least, God, once again.....wants me to remember that HE knows the game plan....and Danielle does not.

I don't feel like explaining all of this...but I just thought I had some things figured out while I was here...and I don't. Ha. Purpose? Reasons? What's next? I know nothing. And you know what?

It's ok. :)

God has put fun little things in my days lately. Such as...I was watching Felicity Season 2 a few days ago. (she's a girl who moves to NYC for school and has all sorts of drama in her life...ha no making fun of my show man) ANYWAY...there's a scene where she gets on the subway and HAPPENS to get on the SAME subway AND subway cart as her friend she's mad at. WELL...I was thinking....

"Weird. How likely is it to actually see someone on the subway you know. Even if you are going the same way....Just not gonna happen. AND even if you DO get on the same train...it's NOT like you'll get on the exact same CART of the train."

Well....God proved ME wrong. Last night I hopped on a train...and did a weird transfer that I ALMOST didn't...and I got on and heard .... "Danielle!"

What? Someone just say my name? I looked up...and it was my new buddy from Starbucks that I always talk to. HA. Ironic, no? God is funny always proving me wrong.

So today I saw the cutest little boy, looked about 5 years old. He was with his mother who let him sit down on the subway as she stood up because there weren't enough seats. Awww...what a cute little boy...holding a newspaper with "HERION HIGH" on the front cover. Odd. Sad sad world....ah well. This IS planet Earth. Not HEAVEN....where the headlines will read "GOD-ON-HIGH"

Random but...there's a security guard that works downstairs at Baja Fresh ...who barks. BARKS. What in the world?

So I reached my halfway point last friday. 7 weeks down...7 to go. Why am I still searching for meaning here? Like daily I search for my purpose in NYC. I need to remember that it's not for me to know...and just live. God will use us in the WEIRDEST ways....and we just gotta let Him do His thing through US. God is good. He's got our purposes being worked out daily....so live it out!

-danielle

My Heart is Now in 2 Places....<3

Wow guys! This week has been really good! First of all, God loves to put a little kick into my life lately. Ha. Wanna know how I know this???

#1 The ONE day I dress up in NYC....is when it poured...and might as well have snowed because it was cold enough. AND since I dressed up...I wasn't comfortable...as I walked 3 or so errands as an intern. HA.

#2 I finally made banana pudding....i started to eat it in my bed....i tried to smash the nilla wafers in my lil bowl...oh yeah....I busted a flippin hole through my bowl and it was very liquidy...to say the least...got ALLLL over my blanket that keeps me warm at night :( ha

#3 I ACTUALLY fell asleep on the subway today!!! I woke up LUCKILY at my stop! I felt like I had a hangover...(not that I know what that feels like ha....but PROB like THAT) My head and neck hurt from HANGING and bobbing back and forth as I rode to work this morning. Just glad I didn't miss my stop.

#4 My FAVORITE friend at work...Elizabeth...got to work ON TIME like I did this morning...and she told me our boss was running late. HA. Door locked. WINTER outside. ICED coffee in hand. Elizabeth speaks 100% Spanish...15% English. We made our way in through a back door, sat on some steps, and BONDED. Haha. Usually we just smile at each other at work...but this time....We CHATTED. haha. As best we could :) She's my favorite. A hardworkin' lady!

#5 I got on the EXPRESS subway for 2 stops after work today....to skip a few stops that my local/normal train takes...ya know? I was READY to get home...WELL....I got off to transfer after two stops to MY train...and I rush to hop on the train...PACKED. Oh well.....I'll wait for the next one. I pull out my Jamba Juice apple cinnamon Oatmeal. I lean against a post, pull out my spoon, start eating, and watch the doors to the train close. A girl looks out the window and sees me chillin' and eating my oatmeal. Ha. She smiles and gives me a look like "ha...least ur making the best of your wait." And I smile back and kinda laugh. haha. Good times right? I love making quick connections with random people.

#6 I patiently wait for 20 minutes for the next train. WELL...many many pile up behind me in 20 min to get on the next train as well. Well it arrives....I try to push my way in...oh no....I got pushed away. Then its packed. MISSED that train TOO! I was not happy..... this time I had no more oatmeal. Nothin'. I got sooo close to the track for the NEXT train. 20 more minutes.....I was ready to fight for the next train.. Needless to say...I DID get on the next train ha. God thinks He's so funny making me REALLY be patient. ha.

#7 So at the end of my subway ride, I get to the 2nd to last stop of mine...and at the VERY last second I hear the "captain" say..."THIS IS THE LAST STOP TILL 'blah blah blah'"
....HE WAS SKIPPING MY STOP! SO...I RAN OFF THAT SUBWAY. I, for the 2nd time this week, had to walk 7 blocks in the cold to the road I USUALLY get dropped off at. Good times. But really...without expanding....I'm glad I had to walk. It was good times with God AND good times at the grocery store that I stopped at BECAUSE I got dropped off at the wrong stop.

#8 So...I'm at Starbucks now. The one in my home area. WELL...one time this "starbucks boss lady" asked me about my day. I told her something about my new job starting the next day. She was real nice and wished me luck. Tonight, this "starbucks worker-guy" was real nice and friendly to me and said, "Whats wrong??" I said, "Nothing haha. I'm just stretching cuz im tired!"
"That 3 shots of espresso not wake u up??"
"No it did. ha. Im jus worn out. 8 hr shift today...ya know?" says me. ha
"Where u work?"
Then the boss lady comes up and goes "OH yeah! U had that new job? How is it??"
She like remembered and everything...I was impressed. Then all the starbucks worker people start asking me about it..and i told them id hook them up with a discount haha. Maybe they'll hook me up with one too ;) hahah. EITHER way. I was impressed she remembered....

#9 I keep making more and more and more buds here. I like NYC..people are pretty easy to make friends with. ha. Some of them may read this....oh well...in that case I LIKE YOU NEW YORKERS. ;) SO...my heart is gonna be in 2 places by December when i get on that train to come home. I love people. God keeps putting good ones in my life. Every where I go.

#10 Finally, God put kick into my life WHEN He reminded me that....as usual....He puts EVERYONE in our lives....for a reason..... ;)

Love you all. ha it was long..yes...

Pizza Pizza Pizza

I miss southern food....ha....its like i don't eat it all that much back home...unless Mamamac gives me leftovers! which i love! :) ...but it's the idea here that I prob can't just go anywhere and get cornbread, banana pudding, chili, and potato soup....haha

It's PIZZA CITY!....and i Try not to eat cheese....haha....oh well...sometimes i do on weekends ;)

Oh, oh...girl at starbucks dropped her pizza slice on the floor. Sad day man. Hmm... looks like she's leaving the plate on the floor too...weird....haha

Ah...let's see. I'm off today! happy Columbus day! ha

Weather here is kinda overcast and chilly. Don't worry I am warm ;) I'm at the local Starbucks...my traditional hang out place on my off days. I stay out of Manhattan on my off days usually....its more quiet around here ha.

Man! Other day this crazy older lady honked at NOTHING. i was like, really? Trying to "be cool" are you?

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I feel like I took a PAUSE out of my life lately. Like I have a COMPLETELY different life here....its not like i can even Start over...because its only temporary. SO, i feel like i've put a pause on my life back home. Ha. I actually like how me and my friends from home talk now. It kinda makes me miss them and like them more haha. ;)

But....as much as sometimes i don't understand WHY God has me here exactly, i don't really have to. It's like I'm always looking...haha....BUT I don't have to know. God is good. God may just want to show me things...open my eyes. I have no idea. We'll see....8 more weeks ;)

Love you guys.
-danielle

I had the most Bizarre Week

And this...is how it went.

Earlier this week, I got off the subway and saw a man crouched in the corner holding up a sign that read... "Hungry. Broke. & UGLY. Please help."

I was like..."ugly?" That was a new one to see.

Then, later on during the week....a man started singing ON THE SUBWAY..."Jesus...name above all names....beautiful savior...glorious loooorrrrddddd....." WHILE he was holding out his hat for donations and walking along the center isle. It's a GREAT song...but it just seemed odd to be singing while holding out a hat....(please don't think i don't care....it was just NEW and different to me)

THEN.....I was at work and a boy comes up to the counter and says, "This has meat in it. I asked for NO meat." And he shows me his half eaten burrito UP CLOSE.

I was like, "Ohhhh...I'm really sorry about that. Yeah I see the Mahi Mahi...hold on...We'll give you what you wanted."

WELL...Then he tells us what he wanted...and it was NOWHERE CLOSE to what kind of burrito he had....and we were like, "What in the world? We couldn't have gotten it THAT wrong?"

So we give him a new burrito and he walks out the door. A few minutes later a lady walks in and says, "Hi, I'm soo sorry, but a minute ago I gave a young man some food from here...and I thought I gave him the plate of rice and beans...but I gave him MY burrito bag instead....THEN i went back to switch with him and he said he already came here to change it."

We were like... "OH. Weird. He made it seem like we had messed up."

We then make her the Mahi Mahi burrito. She was really nice...so of course we didn't charge her....THE WEIRD PART...is that the boy came in and said we messed up his order and blah blah blah. She was trying to BE NICE because he looked "hungry" she said. Hm....

LATER that same day.... a lady came in and said, "Hi, so you guys make party packs??? My boss wanted to know how the chips tasted."

I was like...hmm...
She then says, "Can I try a few?? So I can tell my boss??"

I'm, thinking WHAT?! They are REGULAR TORTILLA CHIPS. ....Then i give her some chips...and she walks over to the salsa bar and starts loading up her 5 chips with salsa. Then she sits down to eat. Then she walks out the door.

NOW...the lesson from this week is.....well....I dont really know. EITHER...A) people will do anything for money, free food, etc....including lying....

or

B) There's another point to all of this...and I just don't know what it is.

OH and THEN...I called mama on the phone when i was running an errand all around NYC....and told her how annoyed i was at all the taxi people HONKING all the Flippin' time. FOR NO REASON!....well....minutes later...im not even in the road...im walking in a parking lot...WITH THE RIGHT OF WAY....and a taxi driver HONKS AT ME!....WHAT?!? I'm WALKING HERE!....oy.

THIS, my friend, is the world we live in. Whether we ever understand it or not...We just gotta be the light...even in the WEIRD situations....and i have to learn...Not to get frustrated and easily annoyed with people. ha. God give me patience and understanding.

BTW...LOVED the coffee shop devo last night with people from the church up here. It made my week :) God is Good.

Peace out